Striking a balance: new bowling coach Mary Toman’s approach to teamwork

“In bowling, we’re all starting off the same, we’re brand new, and we’re here to do our best.”

This is the philosophy that Conant’s new head girls bowling coach, math and computer science teacher Mary Toman, aims to instill. For her, bowling isn’t just about competition. It’s about growth, community, and finding enjoyment in the game, shaping her approach to coaching.

A familiar face in the bowling alley, Toman has been part of Conant’s bowling program for four years. Previously an assistant coach, she is stepping into the head coach role for the first time this year. 

“I’m really excited to get to coach some of my girls again,” she said. “I started off with them on JV and I lost them to Varsity, and it’s really exciting getting to coach them again.”

The position opened this year when Jen Mikrut, the previous head coach, moved to a different school. 

“I didn’t expect it, only four years into my career. I just thought, ‘it’s now or never,’ and might as well go for it,” Toman explained.

Varsity bowler Josie Sellers, ‘25, looks forward to the upcoming bowling season with Toman being the head coach. “As a coach she was really, really great and really supportive,” she said. 

Sellers and Toman started on the Conant bowling team at the same time. “It was my first year [of bowling] and her first year that she taught,” Sellers said. “So it was kind of new for both of us, and I really felt supported [by] her because she was always there.”

Toman’s journey into coaching began with her own high school experience in bowling, when she was “brand new” and admittedly “pretty awful” at it. The time she spent on the team left a lasting impression about the importance of a supportive coach. “I want to provide that same coaching experience that I had in high school for the students that I get to teach,” she said.

Toman’s emphasis on support and positivity defines her coaching style. “It’s always a positive mindset,” Toman explained. “No matter how bad you’re doing out there, I know you’re trying, and that’s all I care about.”

Sellers can attest to this approach. “Any time I would get a bad score, she was always there to [say] , ‘hey, don’t bring yourself down, you’re a good bowler, you can do better,’” Sellers recalled. “I remember one time I wasn’t bowling great, and she pulled me aside and [said], ‘You know you can do it, you’re a good bowler.’ And then I went out there and I got a strike.”

One of Toman’s goals this year is to help the team grow. “I just want to keep getting better,” she said. “Every year, I’ve been a part of our program, watching our girls improve, because a lot of them were brand new bowlers when they started. That’s always my goal, watching that number get higher and higher every year.”

Toman’s commitment to the team starts with her own focus and discipline during practices. “When I’m bowling, I’m fully invested and I’m not worried about my emails or workload that I have because I don’t want to be distracted,” she said. 

The team’s practices at Poplar Creek Bowl are structured to build consistency and skill. Toman explained that bowling is unlike other sports, where there can be a variety of practices involving running or weight lifting, and instead the team usually practices bowling itself. “I’ll make them do certain pick ups where they have to go after certain pins or we’re working on our walking approach,” Toman said. “It’s really just a routine.”

Beyond the lanes, the girls bowling team has cultivated their own unique traditions. An example is Winnie: a small rubber dog that accompanies the team to every meet. “Everyone has to give it a little head pat before they go to bowl,” Toman shared with a smile. 

This season, Toman hopes to continue to build a supportive community within the team. Bowling, she noted, promotes a unique togetherness among opposing teams. “We’re high-fiving the other team, we’re talking to [them], laughing and making jokes. It’s a really special place,” Toman said.

Sellers summed it up the best: “She’s a great person. She supports you. She’s wonderful.”

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