Frazzled? 5 realistic tips to alleviate test stress

Testing season is back yet again, and so is the robotic, disengaged advice that never does anyone any good. Sleep eight hours a night, eat well, take breaks. You’ve heard it all before, and not once have you found any of it to be helpful. Sleep? In these conditions? Don’t worry, I’ve got you! Here are five study tips that won’t make you want to roll your eyes into the back of your head.

• Vent out your frustration

Standardized tests and essays make everyone want to tear their hair out and scream into an endless void. Hear me out, maybe spare your scalp. Instead of entering the vaults of despair, scream into your pillow. Set up a bunch of stuffed animals and knock them down–just be sure to apologize to them afterwards.

•  Engage in harmless mischief 

Listen, there are ways to mess around that won’t make you a criminal–they might even brighten up your social life in these trying times. Prank call a friend pretending to be a Harvard admissions officer. Download a sketchy voice changer and call your little sister posing as Darth Vader. Identity fraud? What’s that?

• Add some personality to your study methods

Despite what the College Board wants you to think, you don’t have to be a robot. It’s okay to spice things up a bit–don’t leave such a large part of your life dull. Add some profanity to your memorization keys if that’s your style, or link a Taylor Swift song to every unit–no one’s gonna know. 

•  Stay close to your passions and hobbies

The things that keep you from going insane should be the things you hold the closest. While it’s hard to make time for everything, small, ten-minute intervals spent doing what you love are sure to elevate your day. Get outside, paint a picture, write a poem–it can’t hurt!

•  Put it all in perspective

Not to make you feel insignificant, but you’re one of 7.5 billion odd bags of meat that lives on a floating rock. It’s not that you aren’t a complex bag, you have your own unique quirks and feelings–ew. But, six billion years from now, the likelihood of archaeologists digging up the remnants of your life are far beyond fractional. The likelihood of archeologists digging anyone’s stuff up is low, considering the state of the world. 

I know you’ve been up for weeks. Conventionally, I’m supposed to tell you sleep is important. Personally, I know you won’t listen. So, as the looming deadlines and apocalyptic essays begin to cloud up your world, take some time to remind yourself what you’re in this for. 

In the least irritating way possible: try your best not to spend all of your time worrying. Life is short and limited. 

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